


Within a Heartbeat

by fabricator



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Blow Jobs, Explicit Sexual Content, Gay Sex, Hand Jobs, M/M, MWPP, Marauders, Marauders' Era, Pining, Wet Dream, sirius black is oblivious to his own feelings because he's emotionally ignorant
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-23 10:45:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15604587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabricator/pseuds/fabricator
Summary: Sirius Black doesn't understand why his heart beats so fast whenever he sees Remus Lupin, and he doesn't know whether or not he wants to find out.





	1. Humble Beginnings

The allure of the outer grounds of Hogwarts seemed to decrease somewhat once autumn was over and winter had begun. Icy winds snapped angrily at the bare trees that once held leaves of scarlet and ochre but now stood naked, clutching their branches to stop them from falling too. Even the great lake, which one would assume to be unchanging no matter the weather, had a sheet of ice covering the top surface, and possibly deeper, though nobody cared enough to check. The students of Hogwarts, of course, remained indoors during this time, most deeming it too cold to even leave their common rooms other than for food. This was true for Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew, self-proclaimed the ‘Marauders’ for no reason other than to create a sense of awe and reverence surrounding their group of four. The sun was beginning to rise, bringing light to the grounds, and awakening one of the four.

Remus Lupin had always been a light sleeper, so it was no surprise to him when he awoke at only seven-thirty as the light inched in through the tiny window to his left on the eighth January morning of 1977. He let a small sigh escape his mouth as he turned to the beds to his right to see if any others were awake. When his whisper of ‘is anybody up yet?’ received no response, he let out another sigh and slowly crept from his bed towards the Gryffindor common room, letting the door close silently behind him. He had assumed nobody else would be awake yet, so was pleasantly surprised when he walked into the room and saw Lily Evans alone with a book and what looked like a cup of tea, on the closest armchair to the fire. She looked up at Remus and smiled as he walked into the room, clearly having assumed the same.  
‘Good morning Remus, you’re up early.’ She said to him, ostensibly bright in tone for a Saturday morning.  
‘Morning, I could say the same to you.’ He replied, taking a seat in the chair opposite to her, glad to feel the warmth from the fire through his thin layer of pyjamas.  
‘I couldn’t sleep, I thought I may as well get some reading in. This book’s quite good actually, I could lend it to you once I’ve finished if you want.’  
‘No thanks Lily, I’ve got enough on my reading list as it is.’ Lily seemed to be the only person Remus knew that shared his own genuine love of reading, and he was glad to have a friend like her to go to when the Marauders were getting too much.  
‘Do you think the others will be up soon?’  
‘Fat chance, it’s Saturday, James wouldn’t get up before noon on a Saturday even if you promised to marry him.’ Lily blushed slightly at this statement, but laughed anyway.  
‘Actually, scratch that, he probably would make an exception just for you.’  
‘Well thanks Remus,’ Lily said, dramatically clutching her heart, ‘I don’t think I’d cope if the famous James Potter didn’t love me so.’  
‘Careful, if he hears you he’ll never leave you alone.’

It wasn’t until hours later that the three other Marauders began to stir. Sirius opened one eye imperceptibly and, noticing Remus’ absence, decided he was too hungry to stay in bed any longer.  
‘Oi! Prongs! Get up mate, I’m hungry and I know you are too.’ When all he received was a groan in return, Sirius did the best thing he could think of in that moment.  
‘Ouch, Get off me! I hate you!’ Sirius had jumped onto James from his own bed; landing across his stomach, face down on the four poster.  
‘Padfoot, piss off.’  
‘No, get out of bed. I want lunch.’  
James groaned loudly, realising he had no choice, and pushed Sirius off the bed so that he could sit up. Sirius lay in a heap on the floor for a few seconds, then sat up too, laughing at the two boys still in their beds.  
‘Anyone know where Moony is?’ Peter asked from his own bed,  
‘No idea, probably writing someone’s transfiguration essay for a bar of chocolate.’ James replied, slowly getting out of his pyjamas and into his clothes.  
‘I wouldn’t put it past him.’ Peter began doing the same and soon they were all dressed and heading down to the common room. There they met Remus again, he was still sitting with Lily, having barely moved since he got there early that morning.  
‘Good morning, Evans.’ James beamed as he made his way towards her, watching her grimace in mock disgust. Sirius, of course, walked towards Remus instead, ignoring the strange feeling he felt in his stomach as he watched Remus’ eyes dart across the page of a book he was reading.  
‘Moony!’ Sirius grinned, ‘We thought you were dead!’  
‘No you didn’t, you wanker. You knew I’d be down here, where else would I be?’  
‘Moons!’ Sirius pretended to gasp in horror, ‘How could you use such harsh words to me!’ Sirius fell to the floor dramatically, clutching his heart similarly to how Lily had done hours earlier. Remus rolled his eyes and returned to reading.  
‘Hey Moony, we’re going to get some lunch, care to join?’ James had ignored Sirius and stepped over him to talk to Remus.  
‘Sounds good, just give me a minute.’ Once Remus had found a bookmark and said farewell to Lily, he joined the three Marauders that were already halfway through the portrait-hole, clearly hungrier than he had anticipated.

Sirius Black hated winter. Cold did not work with him, he had decided in his first December at Hogwarts. The idea of waking up early in minus degree heat and freezing his arse off in every lesson didn’t resonate with him, and he dreaded each cold day while waiting for spring. The one thing that made winter slightly bearable was Remus. His love for jumpers had meant that he had built up a (rather eclectic) mix of them over the years, and Sirius felt himself melting each time he wore one of them, even in the biting cold. Sirius didn’t know what it was about his Moony that made him feel so strange about him. He assumed it was just because he was his best friend, but he’d never felt that way about James. Sirius often pushed the strange feelings to the back of his mind as he spoke to Remus, ignoring his beating heart each time Remus spoke.

‘Pads?’ James’ voice snapped Sirius from his daydream, and he realised that he hadn’t been paying attention during the walk to the Great Hall, and they were already there.  
‘Sorry mate, just thinking.’  
‘You can think, now? Remus replied, and James laughed as Sirius slapped his side, muttering a swear word under his breath.  
‘Stop arguing like an old married couple so we can eat,’ Peter laughed, walking through the grand doorway, into the hall. Sirius felt himself blush at this comment, and quickly turned his head to stop the other boys seeing. Remus, unbeknownst to Sirius, did the same.


	2. Just a Dream

_‘Are you sure about this?’ Remus asked as he removed Sirius’ robes_ _with slightly trembling fingers. Sirius almost laughed at this comment. In his mind, he’d never been so sure in his life.  
‘I’m sure.’ Sirius replied, reconnecting their lips again for a long, passionate kiss. In the back of his mind, Sirius knew that James or Peter could walk in at any moment, but he didn’t have much time to care about anything right now, apart from Remus’ tongue in his mouth and his own nails digging into Remus’ neck. The strong scent of Remus’ cologne only seemed to turn him on more as it began to overtake all else he could smell. Once Sirius was naked, Remus set to work on Sirius’ neck, leaving several marks as he began to grind his body into his, moaning as Sirius made throaty noises that went straight to his cock. As their tongues battled within each other’s mouths, Sirius’ hand slipped lower, feeling through Remus’ robes and down his underwear to wrap his fist around his cock. ‘Pads!’ Remus cried out, arching his back slightly as Sirius began making slow, forceful movements up and down his member, enjoying the quiet grunts making their way out of Remus’ mouth. Suddenly, Remus pushed Sirius onto his four-poster bed, and continued kissing Sirius’ body, slowly making his way nearer to his prick._

 _‘Moony,’ Sirius let out with a moan as Remus took his whole cock into_ _his mouth all at once. With Remus’ movements around Sirius’ cock with his mouth came whimpers of pleasure from Sirius.  
‘Moony, I---‘_

  
‘Padfoot!’  
Sirius awoke with a start. It took less than ten seconds to realise three fundamental truths that had already ruined his day.  
1\. He was late to breakfast, as James had only just decided to wake him up now rather than when he was supposed to be up.  
2\. He’d cum in his pants like a twelve-year-old boy.  
And the most important (and day-ruining) truth:  
3\. He’d enjoyed the dream about Remus.  
  
‘Look mate, we’re all late to breakfast because _somebody_ ,’ James paused to glare at Remus, who did nothing but smirk slightly, ‘forgot to wake us all up before getting ready like he promised.’  
‘Well maybe, James, if you didn’t fuck around with homework you hadn’t done all night then you’d actually be able to wake up in the morning.’ Remus replied, though they were all laughing at their own idiocy anyway.  
‘Anyway Pads, we’re all ready so we’ll wait for you in the common room. Be down in five minutes, okay?’  
‘Alright, see you in a minute.’  
  
Sirius watched as the three boys left the dormitory and headed down the winding stairs until they were out of sight, then he grabbed his wand from his bedside table and muttered a quick ‘scourgify’ to clean up the mess in his bed sheets. A wave of embarrassment hit him and he flushed as he began to realise what had happened. He’d cum, in his pants, while dreaming about one of his best friends. Sirius tried rationalising this. He hadn’t had a girlfriend in a long time, so he was probably just subconsciously lonely and, because he loved Remus platonically his brain just…filled in the gaps. That was it. He didn’t want to _be with_ Remus, he was just lonely. It was natural for a teenage boy to have a wet dream; God knows James had enough of them, so Sirius needn’t worry. Sirius quickly got out of bed, pulled on his robes, and left the dormitory after the others. Somehow, he didn’t feel the need to tell them about what had happened.  
  
‘Took your time!’ Peter declared after Sirius finally arrived, ‘we’ve almost missed breakfast!’  
‘What took you so long?’ Remus asked, suspiciously, and Sirius felt the back of his ears turn red as Remus’ eyes narrowed while looking at him.

‘Just tired,’ Sirius replied, ‘Shall we get some breakfast then?’  
The four boys made their way down to breakfast, ready for lessons to begin. Seventh year was already proving difficult as NEWTs were fast approaching, and Sirius did not need anything, or anyone, else to make the year harder for him.

Sirius sat next to James in potions, with Remus and Peter just in front of them. They’d agreed on this because, in Sirius’ words, ‘James and Pete are shit and Moony and I are the only people that can help’. James and Peter didn’t refute this, so they had sat in this configuration since second year when Remus had suggested it. Sirius found it extremely hard to concentrate in potions _normally,_ so it was especially difficult when the boy whom he had just cum in his pants thinking of was sitting right there in front of him.  Sirius found himself staring for an uncomfortable amount of time at the back of Remus’ head, glancing down to his neck and focusing on each dip and curve, before jerking his head away suddenly. James seemed to notice this as he furrowed his brow but did not comment, continuing to write what Professor Slughorn had said was important for the exam. Sirius, however, did not pick up his quill. He was in the midst of a crisis that he was only vaguely aware he was having. A few minutes later, Remus looked back at the two boys behind him and smiled limply, knowing the other boys would be as bored as he was. James and Sirius smiled back similarly, with Sirius praying for the lesson to be over for very different reasons.

 

Sirius, surprisingly, managed to navigate his way through the day without a slip-up. With the weight of his own unconscious actions hanging over him, he was sure he would have to say something to James at some point, but he remained quiet about the incident. Luckily for him, it was Friday, so he wouldn’t any lessons with Remus with him for three days, though this provided little to no consolation as he knew he would have to spend the weekend with him anyway. Sirius didn’t want to avoid Remus, but with his ears turning red every time Remus so much as smiled at him, he felt he didn’t have much choice.

‘Right boys, Friday night. You all know what that means!’ James barged into the common room with Sirius and a few other Gryffindors after an hour’s quidditch practice.

‘Party? Peter asked, hopefully.

‘Bang on, Peter!’ Sirius replied, ignoring Remus’ groan into the pillow on the armchair he was sitting in. A few of the older Gryffindors in the common room began to become interested, knowing that Marauders threw, objectively, the best parties.

‘Come on then!’ James announced to the entire room this time, ‘Who’s ready?’

This heralded a cheer from a few students and James and Sirius ran upstairs to grab whatever contraband alcohol they could find from their trunks.

 

The party didn’t really begin until after midnight, once all of the younger students had gone to bed and only those in sixth year and above were still in the common room. Everyone had had far too much to drink when Lily Evans suggested a game of Truth or Dare (Sirus made note that Evans wasn’t as much of a swot as he thought) and everyone agreed. After gathering together and sitting in a large circle on the rug in the centre of the room, those more inebriated needing more help getting there than others, they began the game.

‘I’ll start.’ James slurred, ‘Evans, truth or dare?’

‘Dare.’ Lily replied, matter-of-factly.

‘Dare you to go out with me.’ James smirked, as Lily threw the nearest thing she could find at his head, which happened to be somebody else’s shoe.

‘Fuck off, Potter. That’s not how the game works.’

 

The game dragged on for a while without much more input from the Marauders other than a wolf whistle from Sirius when a dare between Alice Prewett and Frank Longbottom became slightly more intense than expected. It wasn’t until Remus spoke up that Sirius began to pay proper attention to the game.

‘Pads, truth or dare?’

‘Uhh, dare.’ Sirius replied sceptically as Remus stared at him with half closed eyes due to drunkenness,

‘I dare you to snog the prettiest person in the room.’ Remus stated, a cliché dare but a dare nonetheless. Sirius knew it would be easy, he’d got off with half the girls in the circle anyway, so after a few seconds of deliberation decided to kiss a sixth year named Madison as she was, in his opinion, the prettiest girl there. After finishing, Madison blushed and giggled slightly and Sirius pulled back, unfazed. He snuck a look at Remus, who had an expression on his face too difficult to read in his tipsy state, and sat back down. The game tore on for about half an hour longer until everyone decided they were too tired and the party broke up. Those too drunk to walk up the winding stairs to their dormitories slept on the floor of the common room, whilst the rest went up to bed. It wasn’t until Sirius was still awake in bed an hour or two later, having been one of the most sober at the party, that he realised what Remus had said.

 

Snog the prettiest _person_ in the room.

 

He’d never said girl.   


End file.
